Don’t Like: The Reoccurring Dream Where I Travel Back In Time To My 7th Grade Self

People wish they could go back in time, well… all the time.

It’s a neat concept right? You could go back to the dinosaurs! Or, um, go back and beat up that kid who tormented you. Or do… stuff. Well, it’s totally neat right?

Yeah, except that it totally sucks.

I’ve been having a reoccurring dream where I travel back in time to 7th grade. Not so bad one would assume, but instead of “physically” doing so, it’s just my 26 year old mind going back into my 14 year old body.

Do you remember 7th grade? Waking up at 6 am, going to school, being with immature 7th graders, having normal self-esteem issues, studying very basic subjects like PRE-alegbra, and a lot of these subjects you understand on a conceptual level WAYYYY better now, but you’re stuck in 7th grade still having them be presented in cookie cutter terms. Also your music sucks, you look awkward, and you’re not able to try out for the basketball team because you have cancer stitches in your back (and probably wouldn’t have made it anyway). Also you have to read way less good books than you did in 6th grade and will in 8th grade for some reason.

Well, imagine doing it all again.

To tell the truth I actually liked 7th grade, but I was generally a sort of agreeable fellow and I was becoming friends with my bff, so that’s nice. Plus at the time you are so completely unaware of the tedium and relative lack of importance of all that you do, but nonetheless it is that important “character building” stuff that helps make us who we are. But I already am who I’d be so I just wouldn’t have the patience… Especially getting up that early.

So began the difficult process of telling my parents I’m from the future. It is a difficult process, but if there is anyone in the world who will believe you, no matter how ridiculous, it’s your parents. The problem comes with everyone else. How do you convince a school to take you out of classes for something radically advanced? I’d write a heckuva a lot better, but would I show all that calculus I can’t remember? Tell them about large super-collider that was built? Start trying to remember little predictions to prove things for people even though I hardly remember anything date specific? Next year the spice girls become popular! What can you do to convince the world? Do you even try to tell people in the first place? Or do you keep it a secret?

This tangentially brings up the BIG issues in the dream. Imagine knowing the future for the next 12 years or so. What would you do? Do you go out with different people? With your confidence of your mid-twenties do you change your entire demeanor? Do you bet on sports? Does that change the outcome? Do you seek out the person you fall in love with later in life? Do you kill that pedophile who creates the backstreet boys and N’Sync? Does doing so sever the precursor to the neo-alt-rock movement that was pretty awesome? Does doing any of this alter the course of history so that you really WOULDN’T know how live goes after a certain point?

Then there’s the big ones. Do you tell people about 9/11? Morally of course, it’s the right thing, but is it really the right thing? We’re talking about but it’s something that shaped EVERYTHING about our modern society. It’s now modern americana, it’s like if the japanese never attacked pearl harbor. For all it’s horror, it’s something that transforms a national consciousness. What are we like without that? Are we better off?

What do you do?

Amazingly fucked up.

I need some water.

Don’t Like: Asking this question: How many of people out there have been having “Fallout 3″ Dreams?

Yeah…

Needless to say this has been disturbing.

I normally don’t dream this stuff, but fallout 3 is so visceral and encapsulating I find myself dreaming of the world 2 nights in a row. It’s not that much fun.

What’s even weirder is that I woke up from the fallout 3 dream and got up, took a shower, and went to school.

Only I got to school and had no idea what my first period was… I started asking other people but they had no idea whose class I was in. I was frantic. Then I look down at my watch at 6 hours had passed and it was 1 pm. Not only that, I had no idea what any of my classes were and basically started having a nervous breakdown. I have no idea why I was forgetting everything. It was scary. It was like amnesia. I went to student services to try and explain to them that I thought I was losing my mind and had absolutely no memory of all thses school-related things. As I waited my turn I began trying to help someone else who was there and it started a discussion among the admin  and afflicted students (the whole time I’m freaking out because of my lost memory). Then I say something (I can’t remember what) and this Asian woman starts yelling at me profusely because I apparently misheard her. Then I realized the woman was  Michelle Malkin, the evil one.

Then my alarm goes off.

I realize: I’m not in high school anymore. I’m not even in college… And I have to go to work. I had no idea I was dreaming and totally fell victim to the “dream within a dream” thing. It was freaky as fuck. And were it not for the horror of my fallout 3 dream I probably never would have woken up to the “reality” of my second dream.

… Man, I can’t wait to play more Fallout 3 tonight.

Like: That I had a dream I was in the movie “The Relic” last night

Remember this craptasticular movie?

In retrospect it plays pretty awesome nowadays. My favorite being madsen’s detective and his superstitous “bad luck” fears. It was hilarious at the time for my disbelief and even better now.

So I had a dream last night and it was TOTALLY The Relic. I don’t know why. I haven’t thought about the movie in years. But Michael Madsen was there and….

AHAHAHAHA

I just looked up the movie again and realized that wasn’t Michael Madsen at all, but in stead a skinny Tom Sizemore.

Anyshit, Penelope Ann Miller was there too and we were going around the museum and for some reazon it wasn’t even scary. It was just awesome. The monster (wiki identifies as “KATHOGA”) was just running around killing people and I just remember laughing cause it was so lame.

Why? Am I some kind of desensitized jerk?

Nope.

BECAUSE I KNEW I WAS DREAMING THE MOVIE THE RELIC.

Either that or I was dreaming myself watching the movie.

Awesome.

Like: Scottish and Airedale Terriers

I’m not really all that experienced with pets. I’ve only technically had 3 cats one year in college, but that was part of a big house. I don’t even really like dogs that much, but I’ve always had a natural disposition to Terriers. The first reason is simple, they look neat. Especially Scottish terriers and airedale terriers with their little beards. I don’t really find stuff “adorable”, but those are fucking adorable. Also, I’m Scottish so there’s the whole “kinsman/heritage” thing going on too. On top of that, I have to like terriers in general cause I’m from Boston and so Boston Terriers are also cool (and from what I hear kind of stoopid dogs). On top of THAT, I went to BU and our mascot was a Boston Terrier. Not that I ever cared about mascots or school spirit but you get my point.

What brings all of this up is that I had a dream the other night that I had a big, beautiful grey Airedale Terrier. His name was Morgan (not a name I like, but was my friend Elliot’s dog’s name growing up). And for some reason I had to bring him into work. People were like “you can’t bring your dog to work!” and I was like “Ha! Watch this” and went on to show how Morgan was the most well-behaved dog in the history of well behaved dogs. He was awesome and a total gentlemen who did whatever I said. Every single person loved him and thought he was the perfect dog…

So I woke up kind of wanting an Airedale Terrier.

This all theoretical of course, but dreams can have a weird power over us…

… this is probably as nebulous or spacey as you’ll ever see me.

Like: The Weird Dream I Had Last Night

My dreams are usually pretty non-eventful. Usually some fairly normal event is occurring (like me going to work) and then something random, though theoretically plausible happens (like Annie Liebowitz taking a co-worker’s picture). Those are my usual dreams. They’re lame.

Last night’s was… different.

In my dream, I sat down to watch HBO’s John Adams. The credits began and there was this strange animation happening that confused me.  You see they chose to open this miniseries with the story of a flea… John Adams’s flea to be specific.  This flea was significant because some other bigger insect was reviving the flea to extract the precious nutrients of John Adams and his “patriotic glory”. I couldn’t really make sense why that was the case but teh giant insect was adamant about it, that’s for sure.

Confused by most of this, I decided to check out the competing miniseries that FX had put out called Sam Adams (not a real show). There was no beer, but apparently Sam Adams was a bald eagle for reason. And he liked to fly over highways.

END DREAM.

At this point I started switching