Like: Total Badasses

The Following people were total badasses:

Teddy Roosevelt (president, soldier, bad-ass, probable racist)

Muthafuckin’ Omar (stick-up man)

Mean Joe Greene (his name is mean for f-ing sake)

Bob Gibson (he would drill his own players in batting practice)

Ogie Oglethorpe

John Matrix

Han Solo

Truckasuarus

Ghengis Khan

The Asian Cobra

Marburg

Throwing Stars (no link necessary)

Muldoon

And please, more suggestions for bad asses!

Don’t Like: Jay Mariotti

Hilarious picture.

Jay Mariotti is a columnist of the Chicago Sun-Times and a daily guest on ESPN’s Around The Horn. He’s also an insufferable know it all who knows nothing about the nuance of sports. He is a wholly reactionary figure who will swing whichever way the way wind is blowing around. He’s not stupid or anything, he’s just makes completely blatant assumptions based ONLY on final results. It’s part of the growing trends of sports writers where they’ll be contrarian just for the sake of it or completely fair-weather and call for completely asinine moves from front offices. You’re a journalist and that is a sometimes-privilege of your job. You’re supposed to give insight we don’t know about you blowhard.

Perfect example: Today he said that the Suns have to fire exceptional coach Mike DiAntoni and actually tried to give an example. He mentioned that Steve Kerr gave a suggestion on how to use Shaq in a certain situation and DiAntoni disagreed and this is obvious sign of dysfunction.

Luckily Jackie Mac was there to completely beat his ass down and point out that this is part of the DAILY EXCHANGE of every single GM and coach in the league. This happens every single day between GMs and coaches and a lot of times it gets testy. But see Mariotti wouldn’t know that cause he doesn’t spend any time with actual teams. You know, the stuff actual sports journalists do. He sits in his Chicago office and appears on Around The Horn spouting off whatever dumb, reactionary opinion he gets from trolling the internet. It’s disgusting. DiAntoni is fantastic coach and apparent Mariotti thinks catching bad breaks and losing to arguably the best team in the league means that he should be fired.

Gah, it’s infuriating. What a complete idiot. And at least Woody Paige knows he’s an idiot.

Like: Roy Halladay/Last Night’s Red Sox Game

I love Roy Halladay. He’s completely awesome and total throwback to when pitchers actually pitched deep into games (and subsequently had like 3 year careers before injury). I mean he pitches complete games constantly. His last four games have been complete games. UNHEARD OF today. He has a devastating sinker and throws nothing but strikes.  He even throws complete games when he’s losing (he’s lost 3 of those last 4 games). Why? No balls means hitters swing early and he keeps his pitch count down. It’s so wonderful to watch even if it means little excitement in back and forth scoring.

Any crap, he went up against the Red Sox last night and Jon Lester went 8 innings against him in a genuine old-school pitcher’s duel. I was fucking loving it. Through 8 innings it was a 1 hitter/3 Walks (Lester) to a 2 hitter (Halladay). In the 8th Lester had two great strikeouts and Dustin Pedroia saved a run with a fantastic play up the middle. Paps came in during the 9th (Lester was at 98 pitches and exited on a great note) which means Tito was going into “we’re ending this now.” Low and behold, Papi and Manny both get on base in the bottom of the ninth. Immediately I question Tito not putting in a pinch runner on 2nd.

Seriously, it made no sense. Not wanting to take away Ortiz’s bat? You already brought in Paps to put it to bed and now you want to save Ortiz’s bat for 3 innings from now? Totally contrary. Youk hits a bloop single and there’s bum-kneed Ortiz chugging around with a good chance to be thrown out. I’m gasping and fearing for Tito’s life on that non-pinch runner. Luckily, Wells bobbles it and it’s game over walk-off style. Just awesome.

Not so awesome for Roy Halladay who loses another easy win. If the jays could just score a freaking run or two he’d be unbeatable. If he was on the Yankees this man would be a god and they’d be naming the new stadium after him. But he plays in Hockey land and casual fans have no idea who the hell he is. He’s probably the best pitcher in baseball but whatever.

He was not happy when Wells bobbled it and obviously swore. Puddy thinks he said “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” which is probably correct. I like to think he said “I’m going to stab your kidney in the shower. WATCH OUT!”

Like: Playoffs! Playoffs! Playoffs!

BEHOLD MY PICTURES OF EXPLANATION!!!!