<3 : Wall-E

An emoticon seems perfectly appropriate here.

I saw a midnight showing of Wall-E last night… and it was fantastic. Maybe even the best film Pixar has made (at least since Toy Story 2). I also can’t remember the last time I saw a genuine love story that was this good. Believe it or not, they manage to capture a lot of subtle emotional miniuate just using two beeping robots.

But the great shame is there’s going to be a whole bunch of people who think this movie sucks and is pushing some stupid liberal agenda.

And that’s a horrible shame. The politicization of environmental issues drives me nuts cause the integrity of the issue should be exclusive from that stuff. But whatever the film works as part satire and to let your political bent prevent you enjoying a film is just ridiculous.

Take it the other way for example: a lot of films feature vigilantism or massive amounts of violence or assassinations, etc. All of which are things I’m obviously “politically against.” Just because this film deals with the environment and the laziness of modern man doesn’t mean you should politicize it and let it get in the way. Those elements are freaking satire anyway.

And the robots are cute as shit.

Like: Gen-u-ine Police.

This may sound inanely stupid, but I’ve actually rediscovered a sense of respect for police officers.

Many people have grown up with that sense of respect, but a good deal more fall into juvenile sentiment I Illustrated in the post below. It’s the typical suburban thing where they don’t see the actual service that Police provide the community. Kids just see annoying old jerks who are trying stop them from having fun. These kids also don’t see that they’re pretty lame… Of course, I was once one of those kids.

The other thing is we’ve lost what it truly means to be a police officer in the myriad of bullshit cop shows where you have to be psychic, or a genius, or a complete antagonistic retard, or David Caruso. They are all fake identities that has no bearing on real life and give no insight into what it means to be a good police officer. And people look at real gen-u-ine police and see them as not measuring up.

Being a true police officer, is a dignified position if there ever was one. It’s a genuine public service and one that suburban America has completely forgotten about.

Of course, the distractions for police officers are well-documented: the shift of focus from service to stat busting, bullshit drug rips, career-first thinking, racism, etc (and that’s what they are, distractions from doing the job right). The corruption of urban police forces is indeed a reality, but one that is vastly over-represented and over-suspected within the community. A suspicion that often can overshadow and even put limits on the effectiveness of said Police. (quick note, statistically/IA, the best police officers are African-American).

But to all the Gen-u-ine POlice who protect and serve and do their jobs to the best of their abilities, I thank ya kindly.

Don’t Like: The Fucking Cops

Stupid Fuzz. Always trying to kill my buzz!

They always hassle me when me and my friends go to to the mall!

They just roam around and do nothing and mess with kids who are just hanging out and not doign anything!

Those fat donut eating jerks!

BOOOOOOO COPS!!

Oh, shit they heard me.

SULLY! HIDE IT AND RUN!

Like: Rock Band

So this is how it went:

A bunch of video game designers were sitting around in their awesomeness and went:

“Hey let’s invent the greatest party game ever!”

“Okay, how about a game where you play simplified musical instruments collectively as a rock band”

“And we can use popular/totally awesome songs!”

“Cool, and we’ll make different difficulties so you can totally show off or if you’ve never played you’d be okay after two tries!”

“Or even play when you’re drunk!”

“Especially if you’re drunk!”

“And we could actually make the drums give you some of the same skills needed to drum”

“Not the guitar though”

“No, not the guitar”

“And you wouldn’t even really have to know the words! Just the basic tune!”

“And we’ll have the vocals real low so people’s awful, awful voices don’t ruin it!”

“And we could actually teach people the value of pitch since it’s the only thing the mic could measure!”

“BAD ASS! LET’S DO IT”

“Dude, be sure Gimme Shelter is one of the songs!”

***

Sure there were 2 versions of guitar hero as the progenitor to this so it was really just the next logical step in the evolution, but I still like this version of the events.

Don’t Like: Defective Coffee Lids (PART II)

I have a temper about the weirdest shit. It rarely, rarely, rarely comes out and it’s almost never directed at humans. Why not humans? Cause I can usually understand the fallacy of human error and chalk it up to individual interest (basically objectivism). No, what usually gets me angry is incredibly stupid stuff like traffic patterns, or in the case of today: THE SAME FUCKING DEFECTIVE COFFEE LID.

This is BS man. I got some coffee (which again, I rarely do) and didn’t even fill it up all the way. I put the lid on. Walked outside. INSTANTLY SPILLING OUT BOTH SIDES OF THE CUP. Luckily, I was smart enough to bring napkins this time to help take care of the mess. I had to pour out a bunch of the coffee out into the trash to even get it mobile. Lo and behold, I get into the elevator and the lid starts spitting out coffee when I’m pretty much perfectly still. My hand continues to burn and I finally get upstairs to my office. I pour more out (i have like 1/2 a cup by now) and finally sit down to drink this thing because I’m tired and desperately need caffeine.

I check to be sure the lid is on extra tight again. I raise it up… instantly spilling out from underneath the lid and onto my jeans.

Needless to say I hurled that fucking cup across my cube. Yes, it was at my trash can and it went in, but coffee is now everywhere. I made a half hearted attempt to clean it up but now it just smells like coffee.

Now this is usually the point where you suspect someone has an anger problem. But like I said, I only do about the weirdest shit. And I don’t even care, cause that coffee lid can totally kiss my ass. How can we not make coffee lids that work?!??!!

So why don’t you analyze me interwebs! ANALYZE THIS!

Don’t Like (Yet Still Part of Me Likes): That I’m Already Seeing WAYYYY Less Laker Flags

For those unaware, whenever the Lakers start achieving a modicum of success in the playoffs (usually it has to be making it to the conference finals, or NBA finals) Angelinos start putting these dumb-ass flags all over their cars. The fact that these only come out when the Lakers are championship bound is the sure sign of a fair-weather fan base and all around crappiness.

I walked into work last Thursday wearing my Pierce jersey (totally awesome) and got not only the reactions of “Boston!? YOU LIKE BOSTON!??!” (to which I have to calmly tell them “I’m from Boston”) but better yet got a vast amount of scoffing at the very notion that Boston had a chance to win this series.

Whenever I pointed out that they did, I received the nicely ironic rebuttable of “then why are the Vegas odds so against them!?” Luckily that one’s easy, LA gamblers outnumber Boston ones in Vegas about 7:1. Boom. Easy. The line is meant to split the votes, hence, bigger odds.

Flashforward and here we are with the Celtics up 2-0. Needless to say no one is scoffing at me today, but ALREADY, there wasn’t a single Lakers flag on the way to work today. For the last week I’ve seen at least 30-40 no lie (there’s a lot of cars in LA). This morning, people have event taken down their Lakers memoriablia down from the front doors of their offices.

Are Lakers fans THAT fair-weather? I thought this is was a real rivalry and they’re jumping ship at the first signs of trouble? I like this cause it confirms their lameness. Yet, I want the intensity. I want the rivalry!

Of course, I fully expect these sullen ninnies to be back on the bandwagon, flying thier dumb flags, and saying “I told you so!” when the Lakers scratch together a couple of wins.

Or if they lose game 3… “Lakers? Nah. They suck. I Never liked em”

/PS. Big ups to Leon Powe.

Isn’t this supposed to

Don’t Like: Hillary Supporters Turned McCain Supporters

So, to the aforementioned, let me get this straight… you’re going to abandon Hillary, your beloved candidate, who is for/represents the following: universal healthcare, pro-choice, gun control, strategic removal from Iraq, raising taxes for the funding of schools/police/fire departments, investigating gas price manipulation, the creation of green collar jobs, and lenient on immigration .

… And you’re going to vote for McCain, a candidate who stands for/represents the following: privatized health care, pro-life, against gun control, long term military presence in Iraq and probably Iran, keeping taxes low, no new global warming legistlation, and has a hard stance on immigration.

In other words, they’re complete political opposites.

How, in the name of all that is good and holy, could you possibly do that? It’s akin to saying “I don’t care what a candidate represents whatsoever, just if I identify with them and will even vote for someone else out of spite.” It’s unfathomable to me.

Is the presidential office a game of “who’s your nominee?” NO! There are candidates who fall much more in line with Hillary’s viewpoint. The closest? Yup. Barack Obama. They are nearly identical in political policy and if the direction of the country is important to you (isn’t that core of what politics is supposed to be about?. If Obama lost the nomination I would have voted for Hillary in a millesecond. That’s how similar they are.

But the perceived damage that has been done in this primary election is too much for some. I don’t understand this. Many supporters seem to be confusing the sexist comments being brandied about the internet message boards/blogs/quotes in articles as being Obama-centric. That could not be further than the truth as most of that is coming from conservative users and websites (or morning asinine radio shock jocks). Believe it or not, this has actually been pretty tame as far as bad tactics and insults go from the actual Candidates. It’s been hard fought and long, that’s for sure, but hardly as dirty as even 2004.

If you absolutely cannot vote for Obama there are a host of 3rd party candidates from the following who fall much more in line with Hillary’s policy: the Working Family’s Party, the Independence Party of America, the Centrist Party, and the Peace and Freedom Party.

*My friend Edu is the only who makes a good point on the issue by saying [to paraphrase] that the failure to elect Hillary has deeply shaken his confidence in the Democratic party and he thinks they have made a critical mistake. But still, the idea of voting for McCain is taking it too far. It’s much more legitimate to simply not vote at all.

Don’t Like: How Everyone Assumes I’m the Assistant For Any of the 3 Offices Right Near Me

I’m not their assistant.

I just sit near them and only one of them is even in my department.

It’s a simple mistake and I’m more than happy to help you anyway I can with anything simple. I’d be happy to drop them word of anything when I see them or even even deliver something you’re dropping. But after I explain to you I’m not said person’s assistant can you please not ask me to do assistant type jobs for them? No I don’t have access to their calendars. No I can’t go through their files and get you something they need. No I have no idea what the heck you’re asking me about.

Thank you,

Signed,

Me.

Like: Barack Obama (also complicated, but not as much)

Okay, here we go. I’m actually going to try and keep this brief.

I voted for Barack Obama in the California primary and I will for him again in the general election (barring anything crazy happening so that he wouldn’t get the nom).

I’ve liked Obama since his emergence on the national scene in 2004. What’s nice is that the public identity he established in those initial moments is still the public identity he has mid-election (which is rare). So many politicians have to mold themselves into the pinnacle of moderacy in the name of elect-ability and sometimes even downplay their strengths (Hillary for example). Instead, Obama has actually been able to create a rallying point around his political identity. What’s even better is that I geniunely believe Obama’s political identity is centered around his real-life personality. Once again, rare.

I’ve written about this at length, but Obama/Clinton supporters can’t really argue about policy between their candidates. There are minor differences (that are important) but they’re so collectively similar on this front that it has become an election of semantics. Because of this, I recognize the fact that many people are drawn to Obama in a largely symbolic syntax. To wit: “Only in America is my story possible”. CHANGE. Yes We Can. A truly new administration and a truly new direction for the country. Instead of 20 years of bush/Clinton/bush/Clinton, we’re moving into the 21st century. The first African-American president. He grew up all over the world. He’s got new ideas on how to handle “the Muslim world”. Yada, Yada, Yada.

This all very wishy-washy stuff. He’s been a senator for 4 years and will have spent 2 of those years campaigning. There isn’t exactly a large breadth of experience he can run on. So basically all he can go on is his identity, image, and promise of change.

The question then becomes, do you trust him and do you think identity is enough? Well, he is a politician and all… that always makes things difficult. But people are buying into him for a reason. He is a fantastic public speaker and historically there is large significance to that. Our most popular presidents have always been great communicators (not a nod to Reagan). There’s also something very powerful about the nature of promise when a progressive leader strikes a chord with a majority. Then you’re entering what I like to call “JFK” territory; the kind of territory where the aura itself actually has an impact. Obama isn’t there yet (not by a long shot) but politically I’m someone who fully recognizes the power of “the promise”.

The worst part of all of this is that it seems to boil down to “I like the guy”… which is awful. Just awful. It’s the kind of thinking that might have given us Bush II. But it all point to a bigger indicator for the national pulse; that there is actually something to the symbolism. The concept of “president as posterboy” is usually used as the butt of a joke, but I actually maintain that it’s strangely powerful. We love the person who stands as the model of decency and goodness. Can the president just be the ultimate role model? It’s just we often disagree on the definition of decency. Bush was endeared to his supporters because of his faith and essence. While I thought he might be the most misguided person on the planet, many of the religious right think he was a terrific president (regular old conservatives? not so much anymore). But there is a reason that the American voter respects The Posterboy… and it’s not because they’re stupid.

It’s because no matter how cynical you get. No matter how corrupt politics is. No matter how much we learn nothing really changes. No matter how much I really wonder if anything needs to change at all. No matter how disappointed I’ve been with the democratic party to the point where I’ve voted Green, yikes… There’s a part of us that wants to believe in someone who can cut through the bullshit, be themselves, be a voice of the people, and turn the country in the right direction.

So I’m going to believe in Obama.

… I’m also going to hold him to it.

Don’t Like: Hillary Clinton (But It’s Complicated)

Here we go.

First things first, I mentioned this the other day and someone said they were “sick of this sexist bullshit” and stormed off. I was really taken aback by this. How does not liking Hillary Clinton mean I’m sexist? Do some people not like Hillary Clinton for sexist reasons? Yes. But it’s a classic case of “correlation does not mean cause”  I mean fuck, I’m the guy who thought Winona LaDuke would have made a good Vice-President… and campaigned for her (she’d make a great politician on any level).

But first, reasons why I like Hillary: 1) She’s smart as a whip, an absolutely brilliant tactician. Her career as a lawyer is renowned for a reason. Really, nothing gets by her and she’s painstakingly conscious of the political machinations involved with Washington on every level. Bill Clinton was the same way (He was a Rhodes Scholar for pete’s sake). 2) for all intensive purposes, she’s a party elder. I’m constantly surprised how little this means in American Politics (It seems to be a bigger deal historically and internationally) but there is something to be said for being at the forefront of the democrats. She’s powerful and direct and would be able to lead swiftly. 3) She has a tremendous sense for the intricacies of policy and many of her policies line up with my own.  There’s many other things I like, but these are the main aspects.

What I don’t like: 1) She’s insincere… and she IS insincere . It has absolutely nothing to do with her being a woman and has anything to do with her longstanding tradition of saying or doing anything that benefits her in the given moment. Some people call that politics (and I supposed that’s fair) but if there’s anything people voters seem to appreciate these days it’s the appearance of sincerity (witness: Bush II, Obama). I’ve followed Hillary’s political career since 92, when she became First Lady, all the way up until now… And she’s wholly transparent. Perhaps, the most telling part of this was the famous chronicling of her “baseball fandom” in the 2000 senatorial race. Hillary grew up a Cubs fan in Illinois and that fandom had been relatively well chronicled throughout her life. She was never a huge sports fan or anything, but so it goes. Anywho she starts her campaign for New York Senate and all of sudden starts talking about her being a lifelong Yankees fan. Then there’s the now infamous campaign meeting where they realized they wouldn’t be able to “out-yankee” Rudy J so they decided to go with the Mets. Suddenly Hillary, was talking about how she was becoming a Mets fan . Yes, this is all completely ridiculous and should have no bearing on whether you vote for someone. It sure as hell doesn’t for me. It’s just baseball and completely meaningless in the political arena. However, this episode is WHOLLY metaphoric for problem with sincerity. Heck, lots of people like to approach politics just like they do baseball… and this is the kind of fan you don’t like to bring to games. It’s complete transparency in the attempt to fit in. Like I said, the entire behavior was indicative of a larger problem with her personality.

2) She has never been able to work with Republicans.  I think we all know the history here. It probably culminated with the whole “vast right wing conspiracy” episode.

3) She tells way too many white lies. Not big bold face GW Bush lies, just the kind of white lies that pile to the point where they become overbearing. Snipergate. When she met my dad’s personal hero Sir Edmund Hillary, she told him that she was named after him and his famous feat… Too bad he didn’t become famous (even within the climbing community) until 5 years after Hillary was Born. At another point she chronicles her time spent on her high school soccer team and what she learned about race relations… too bad her high school didn’t have a soccer team. That she learned in The Wall Street Journal how to make a killing in the futures market. (It didn’t cover the market back then). These are just the examples I could remember, I swear there must be literally thousands of them at this point. And here’s the rub, Bill constantly did the exact same thing . And his ultimately got him in BIG trouble.

4) We are officially at the point where she would tear apart the democratic party to insure a) she still has a shot at a nomination regardless of how badly it looks (she should listen to Al Gore’s famous and humane words after deciding not to appeal the 2000 election decision “Even if I win, I wouldn’t win”) or b) completely tear down Obama and her party to ensure she gets another shot in 2012. Look, at every thing she’s done and regardless if you’re a fan of hers or not, it’s just so readily apparent.

5) She’s a horrible public speaker. I’m sorry. She just is. She sounds bored listening to herself. I always like the words themselves, she just doesn’t have the ability to communicate. And I’m sorry, but that’s a HUGE part of being president. Even for the republicans, it’s the difference between Reagan (”the great communicator”) and Bush I+II (bad communicators). Bill Clinton got as far as he did in life because he was an wonderfully charming public speaker (almost bordering on smarm).

Look, even with all this crap. I still think she’d make a good president. I’d certainly vote for her over McCain in a heartbeat. Plus, her policies are virtually identical with Obama anyway so liking on and not the other would be purely semantic. And this has turned into a race of semantics. And it’s only getting uglier.

The problem is a lot of people take the insincerity, the fighting, the white lies, and the ruthless political nature and extrapolate a lot of very nasty, sexist attitudes. That my friends, is BS. It’s a component of this election for sure but I’ll tell you right now sexism isn’t what sank her campaign (most of it was strategic, but that’s another column) Besides, most of the sexist crap is coming from conservative blogs and shock jock radio, not democratic voters.

The Last element of this? I’m a dude. I’ve commented about identity politics before and I have to say I have no idea what it is to be a woman. I’m a dude. And a good deal of women do feel a real resonance with her. I don’t entirely get it. I’ve felt one with other female politicians (mostly on the more local level) but not with Hillary. In fact a good amount of hardcore Hillary supporters (not you edu ) have struck me as being just as ignorant as some of Obama’s hardcore supporters… you know… like Rev. Wright.

Anycrap. I don’t especially like Hillary Clinton. She’s smart. I’d vote for her over most republicans. But it’s complicated to the point I feel like I’ve barely touched on it.