Okay, I’m pretty much just talking about Tommy Smyth.
And honestly, I don’t know enough about soccer to know if he has any idea of what he’s talking about. But I seem to know enough to understand what he’s talking about.
Plus he’s got a cool accent.
And let’s face it folks, accents are awesome. His Irish accent is so pronounced it’s like listening to a Lucky from Lucky Charms announce a game.
That’s vaguely racist, but whatever, it’s awesome.
And soccer is awesome too. I’ve always paid attention to the world cup and the euro league stuff, but my dad finally got me into the EPL this year. You know a sport is good when there’s a team named after a beer. And newcastle is a damn fine beer.
For those unaware, whenever the Lakers start achieving a modicum of success in the playoffs (usually it has to be making it to the conference finals, or NBA finals) Angelinos start putting these dumb-ass flags all over their cars. The fact that these only come out when the Lakers are championship bound is the sure sign of a fair-weather fan base and all around crappiness.
I walked into work last Thursday wearing my Pierce jersey (totally awesome) and got not only the reactions of “Boston!? YOU LIKE BOSTON!??!” (to which I have to calmly tell them “I’m from Boston”) but better yet got a vast amount of scoffing at the very notion that Boston had a chance to win this series.
Whenever I pointed out that they did, I received the nicely ironic rebuttable of “then why are the Vegas odds so against them!?” Luckily that one’s easy, LA gamblers outnumber Boston ones in Vegas about 7:1. Boom. Easy. The line is meant to split the votes, hence, bigger odds.
Flashforward and here we are with the Celtics up 2-0. Needless to say no one is scoffing at me today, but ALREADY, there wasn’t a single Lakers flag on the way to work today. For the last week I’ve seen at least 30-40 no lie (there’s a lot of cars in LA). This morning, people have event taken down their Lakers memoriablia down from the front doors of their offices.
Are Lakers fans THAT fair-weather? I thought this is was a real rivalry and they’re jumping ship at the first signs of trouble? I like this cause it confirms their lameness. Yet, I want the intensity. I want the rivalry!
Of course, I fully expect these sullen ninnies to be back on the bandwagon, flying thier dumb flags, and saying “I told you so!” when the Lakers scratch together a couple of wins.
Or if they lose game 3… “Lakers? Nah. They suck. I Never liked em”
To all the doubters, I’ve strained my knee before like that. It’s a scary moment because you feel little pop/tear and freaks the shit out of you. You think the worst. And then it can either be A) the worst B) Just a little pull.
I cowered on the ground hoping it would be B… and it was.
Paul Pierce not only came back to the floor, he walked right past Doc Rivers checking himself into the game. Then he launched two crucial threes to help pad the lead and complete dominate the quarter.
THIS is the shit the NBA finals are built on.
And better yet, that’s the shit that makes you a Celtics legend.
Paul Pierce, bitches.
Oh yeah, and the game was great too. Celts were swarming all over Kobe. Ever shot was off-balance and two guys in his face. Sure he’s so good he can hit a lot of those, but still. Celts were making it damn HARD for him. And Pau Gasol continues to impress everyone with his incredible length and quickness to the basket. Odom got in foul trouble but his size was giving us problems. Doc is still playing Cassell for some god forsaken reason. Yeah he had three big opening shots, but then he bricked the next 5. BRING IN EDDIE HOUSE! And also for all the lakers fans out her complaining about the Lakers’s shooting, let’s not forget this was a game were Garnett missed 9 straight shots. This is going to be an AMAZING series.
Flopping, for those who don’t know, is the act of falling to the ground and pretending like you were hurt and acting like a little bitch so you can disown your manhood and get a foul call.
Over-acting has always been a part of the game, as has “selling the foul” but throughout NBA history it’s pretty much been regulated to just happening in the moment. Not so much anymore. Flopping is happening so frequently and to such great effect that it started becoming a noticeable part of the game. Refs finally started to not call that shit, leaving said players to look like retards. Finally, the NBA is doing something about it for real and is going to implement fines for flopping.
The flopping development is partially just a natural evolution of the game (LeBron participates a little too much for my liking. Jordan didn’t do that. He would get fouled then stare at the ref like he was going to murder his family in their sleep), but most of it has to do with the influx of international players, who all seem to take part in this shenanigan.
First off, I love the influx of international players. They’re hyper-talented, bring a global interest to the game, and play great roles/fundamental basketball. It’s wonderful.
But they also flop. Maybe it’s the influence of soccer, I dunno. Maybe it’s just how they play games professionally around the world. I really don’t know. I just know Americans don’t like it. I don’t like it.
Finally, the owners want to do something about the wussification of the NBA. David Stern’s rules on “can’t talk back to the refs” is so bullshit that it’s turned the NBA into a bunch of guys who can’t show passion on the court. What the hell does he know about the game of basketball? He never played. He’s a lawyer. And people who don’t think that the “can’t talk back” rule/the dress code rule/and the “can’t step off the bench” rule aren’t all racially motivated are nuts. As soon as the NBA incorporated the Gangsta culture it was suddenly perceived they weren’t being gentlemen and turned into a bunch of thugs. That’s horseshit. The 80’s were all about thugging and it was great. Fan interest was at an all time high.
The greatest foul of that thug era was Dave Cowens. An “enraged Cowens, fed up with a second fake flop to draw an offensive foul in the same game”, ran the Houston guard down in front of the Celtics’ bench, leveled him with a “double forearm shiver”, which completely threw him into the stands. He then ran over to the referee and screamed “Now that’s a fucking foul!” (that’s often quoted without the “fucking” because papers can’t print that part). Today he would be ejected for 10+ games. Back then? just thrown out of the game and that’s it.
… I miss the 80s NBA so much
Also, Flopping in Soccer is like a whole different level too. My Favorite story (quoted from Wiki):
“In 1989, Rojas was in goal for Chile’s 1990 FIFA World Cup qualifying match against Brazil at Rio De Janeiro’s Maracanã stadium. Chile, down 1-0, would be eliminated from the upcoming World Cup with a loss. Around the 70-minute mark, Rojas fell to the pitch writhing and holding his forehead. A firework, thrown from the stands by a Brazilian fan named Rosemary de Mello, was smoldering about a yard away. Rojas, his head bloodied, was carried off the field by his teammates who then refused to return claiming conditions were unsafe. The match went unfinished.
Video evidence later showed that Rojas had not been hit by the firework. His head injury was discovered to have been self-inflicted with a razor blade hidden in his glove. FIFA awarded Brazil a 2-0 win, effectively eliminating Chile from the 1990 World Cup. As a consequence, Chile was banned from the 1994 FIFA World Cup and Rojas was banned for life.
In 2001, following a request for pardon, Rojas’ ban was lifted by FIFA.”
Bridge… the sport of old ladies! And apparently some college students.
One night my sophomore of year of college my friend Dwigget taught us how to play bridge. We were suspect at first, but honestly up for anything so we played… and played… and played. Soon there were nightly bridge games lasting hours and hours and about 8 of were in the rotation.
It really is a wonderful game. One of those games that’s about strict perfection of memory, planning, and intuition. It’s about being on the same wavelength with your partner and having a lot of patience. It’s about having a place to drink gin. It’s rather different from poker even though memory is just as important, while poker is kind of the center for showboating, bridge is completely about subtle execution. Most of the time all four people know exactly how the game is going to play out and it’s about picking the exact ways to take advantage of what might be a single opportunity to bring your opponent down.
It really is one of my favorite card games. Unfortunately, I’ve never, ever, ever met anyone else under the age of 40 who knows how to play. Y’all don’t know what you’re missing.
Seriously Dude? Still. You’re fucking still harping on Spygate? You want a full-on investigation like the mitchell report? FUCK YOU.
Everyone keeps digging and digging and digging and they just keep coming up with the same thing the Pats told Goodell in the beginning. He already gave them the HARSHEST penalty ever given by the NFL. What the fuck else do you want? Worse, you’re a self-professed die-hard Eagles fan and you’re getting into this over some fanboy bullshit. STOP WASTING CONGRESSIONAL MONEY.
The story is over. It was over after Matt Walsh contributed nothing new.
You’re the official fuck-stick of the week. Go hang out with Jay Mariotti. You should fawn over your mutual hate of the Patriots and give each other handjobs.
No Comments » | 
like, soccer, sports | Tagged: accents, ale, beer, color commentators, commentators, English premier league, EPL, football, football commentators, Futbol, Irish, irsh accents, lucky, lucky charms, Newcastle, Newcastle United, soccer, soccer commentators, Tommy Smyth | 
Permalink
Posted by mgss
