Don’t Like: Those Coors Light Ads That Talk About Their Brewing Process and Then Say “We Don’t Change! Sound Like Anyone You Know?” Implying You.

March 31, 2008

I mean, I understand what they’re doing and I’m not such a politico that I can’t stand when a product caters to a different political or social outlook, but I just found it weird. What if I like Coors Light? I don’t, but say I did. Then say I was also for progress! The implications are staggering. I can’t imagine having to decide between my philosophy and my beer of choice. I should write an angry letter to the good people at coors… even if they are reactionaries! Huzzah!

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Love: The Iron Giant

March 28, 2008

I’m still deciding, but The Iron Giant just might be my favorite movie of all time. That’s not hyperbole. It’s a brilliant film with brilliant choices. It’s littered with with great little details and moments. It does everything right: the setting is a vibrant character. It doesn’t rely on dialogue and when it does it’s always sharp. It’s smart. It’s great for adults. It’s sometimes satirical. It’s It messes with film form yet keeps a very traditional story. Best of all it keeps a wonderful emotional core at the center of everything it does. The relationship between the Giant and Hogarth is one of my favorite on-screen relationships. The other characters are fantastic too. I will forgive every actor who voiced in this film (it’s impeccable casting by the way) for any career misteps in the future.

And the man responsible for all of this? A little guy called Brad Bird. He worked on The Simpsons before this, and then went on to do two films called The Incredibles, and Ratatouille. Not a bad resume.


Don’t Like: Showtime

March 28, 2008

This post needs to be carefully constructed. You see, a lot of good and decent and intelligent people like the shows on Showtime. People I like. People’s who’s opinions I respect. And this is the problem… I don’t fucking get it. The shows come out with a bundle of praise. They’re edgy and adult minded. They have some great concepts that seem like they’d be right up my alley. And then… just awful. Ignoring the late 80’s with the fantastic “It’s Garry Shandling’s Show” I have not enjoyed a single show they’ve produced. Including their recent string of critical favorites. In preparation to back up this assault, I’ve made an effort to watch as much of Showtime’s programming as I could.

Queer as Folk? Daring and a bad show. MTV’s Undressed had better storylines!  The L Word? Same thing, genders reversed. Weeds? Their most popular show and the writing/setting is completely nonsensical. Not unbelievable, nonsensical. Fat Actess came out to loads of praise. Did any of those critics see it? I can’t believe they ever did. It was easily the worst show I have ever seen in my entire life. There was absolutely no improv skill on display and it was a waste of people’s time. There’s a reason the ratings dropped off at a colossal rate. Sleeper Cell? Fantastic idea. Poor execution. Huff? Love all the actors and they almost make it watchable, but I can’t believe someone is actually writing that show. The Tudors? Probably the best thing they’ve done but still I got bored with the taciturn plot it way too quickly. I went to film school and watched 4 hour movies about sand. I don’t get bored easily. Californication? Wholly masturbatory. It’s some writers fantasy for himself. Ridiculous.  Dexter? The whole affair makes me sad because I love Michael C. Hall and his work on Six Feet Under. And Dexter is so poorly written and executed it makes me sad. Yet, somehow people love it.

There’s a simple problem that unites ever single one of these shows.  In an effort (seemingly a Showtime mandate) to be as edgy as possible, they constantly undermine their own writing.  Every character is a “teeth first” character meaning the first instinct is to respond with a snarky comment. That’s seriously the paradigm for every single episode of Weeds. Snarky Character A has something biting to less-snarky Character B who reacts doesn’t want to put up with it. THEN less-snarky Character B says something to stuck-up Character C, who is put-off, thus making character B realize how much they’re like Character A.  This is every. Single. Scene. Let me repeat. EVERY. SINGLE. SCENE. It’s mind numbing. There’s absolutely no nuance. While Weeds is the worst offender, every single show features this kind of biting “teeth first” writing and character. The shows are littered with those tired talking, nihilistic jerks we’re supposed to find funny. They all also seem to be substance abusers. I can’t imagine what would have happened if someone like Tony Soprano ended up on that network (who by the way, was the most interesting and complicated character on television ever).

They’re also obsessed with cramming sex in there and it comes out completely trivial.  Huff, Folk/L Word, The Tudors, and especially Californication all have these sexual trysts are just come off like some daydream fantasy of the writers. Which means THERE’S NO POINT. GAHHHHH I CAN’T EVEN TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE!

END RANT


Like: The phrase “I got a good measure of the man.”

March 27, 2008

I don’t think it’s from anything in particular. I also picture it being said by this guy. But isn’t it awesome? It’s the kind of thing I’d say to a kind hearted belle after I sized up some punk who wronged her. I’m going to start saying it work non nonsensically and see how it goes.


Don’t Like: Fennel

March 27, 2008

Because almost anytime you put Fennel in your food it ends up only tasting like fennel. There’s only been a few times in my culinary voyages where the ever so slightest amount of fennel has actually complimented the taste of something. I think chefs like it cause it’s interesting… Interesting? Yes. Tasty? No.


Like: Re-Using Water Bottles

March 27, 2008

I’m not a big environment guy. To clarify, yeah I’m pro-environment and like national parks and all that stuff but it’s just not my issue to harp on. Global Warming exists! Wow! What a political stance! Anycrap I’ll get into the odd politicization of a scientific issue at some other point. This concerns probably the easiest thing for anyone to do who doesn’t want to waste stuff. Refilling water bottles. I take said water bottle, drink it, fill it up at the Poland Springs station which is completely equidistant from the water bottles in the office, go back and drink more.  Boom. Done. When it’s been a couple days, I get a new one. Lots of water/water bottles saved. That’s it. It amazes me how many people go through 2-3 bottles a day here. I should probably get one of those Nalgene business, but I tried and constantly forgot to bring it. So this is my small gesture cause it’s easy.


Don’t Like: Formatting Your New Computer

March 27, 2008

I’m doing this as of the moment at work. It’s insanely tedious and I feel like I can do nothing effecient. Also my new keyboard is about 3 rows off where my hands are normally placed. I’ve been typing numbers and F12s in place of words. The most annoying part is that you figured out how to format correctly on all the old programs. It took years of using the computer but you did it. Now, the formatting options are all in different areas. My outlook preferences aren’t in “email options” at any level but now under “reading pane”. And then a million other examples like this.

I’m going to go track down my old keyboard now. h7F5!