This one comes to us via my brother…
A teacher is teaching her class of elementary school students the meaning of the word “definitely.” To engage them, she asks for an example of the correct usage.
Billy raises his hand and says “trees are definitely green!”
And the teacher responds, “Hmmm. Trees are sometimes green, but their bark is brown and their leaves can change color in the fall.”
Next, Sally raises her hand and says, “The sky is definitely blue!”
Once again the teacher shakes her head and says, “No sally, the sky can sometimes be overcast and gray.”
Then little Peter raises his hand and teacher calls on him.
“Are farts lumpy?” he asks.
The teacher is slightly confused.
“Um no peter, they’re not” Teacher responds.
Peter nods, “okay then i definitely shit my pants”