Don’t Like: #3, Karl Rove (on the list people, all of whom I would Punch if I saw them)

For a blog where I spend half the time bitching about stuff I don’t like, I do try to avoid careless internet asshatery and needless contrarian bullshit, and instead focus on some kind of minuate, or larger theoretical argument. Let’s be honest, often the internet descends into “I HATE YOU’RE YOUR FAVORITE THING!!!!!!!! RARRRRRRRRR! U R GAY!!!!”. I try to avoid that. But… Occasionally I indulge in my more base tendancies. So for this week:

Here’s a list of 5 people I would punch if I saw them.

#3, Karl Rove

Reasons: In your mind, think of everything that is awful about politics: the corruption, the calculation, the shrewdness, the power grabs,the lack of actual caring, and the generic awfulness. Now imagine a person who personifies all those traits. That’s Karl Rove. He’s the collosol asshat behind the success of the last two Bush elections. Granted he’s amazing at his job. Elections aren’t that hard to figure out. When the population thinks America “is on the right track” then they vote for the incubent party. When they think America “is not on the right track” they vote for the opposing party. This has been true of every single American election except for two. The 2000 election of Bush (where people felt we were on the right track) and the 2004 election of bush (where people thought we were on the wrong track but still voted for him anyway). How did they pull off these narrow victories? Karl Rove’s incredible shrewdness. The victories themselves are not evidence of his deception. His long list of deceptions are proof of his deceptions. He completely engineered the singular “neocon” idenitity (religious/go america! militaristic/beer drinking good ole boy/corporate) and was always the chief salesmen of whatever pitch the Bush Admin had to make. He outed Plame. He sold the Iraq war. He didnt’ seem phased by Katrina. He was always willing to be the bad guy. And all the while he leaked transparency.

Judgement: As someone once criticized Tila Tequila “think about it, she dumbed down MTV!”, Karl Rove has dumbed down presidential politics. Yikes. Think of Karl Rove as the H-bomb of electioneering dip-shittery.

Punishment: PUNCHED.

Difficulty: Security team? / My hand would probably be lost in his ameoba-like goo of physical constiutiency. / Might be the devil.

Look at this asshole.


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