April 22, 2009
How freaky is this picture? She’s probably putting lye in his eyeball.
So my eyes have been irritated and red and annoying. So I got eye drops. I’ve never used them before and for good reason… the idea of putting some weird shit on my eyeballs is my harrowing nightmare. Just the act itself is terrifying. Dropping some non-descript solution full of “dextran70” aka “death salt” DIRECTLY ONTO MY EYEBALL is about the scariest thing imaginable. I literally need someone else to do it, not out of fear (I CAN CONQUER ANYTHING!) but because my natural fear makes me so unfathomably bad at dropping it into my eyes, I flounder horribly.
Then again they worked almost immediately and I feel 95% better.
So maybe it’s a draw.
April 21, 2009
That’s exactly what I do.
-above picture is not me, nor is it my gender. However, all the rest is the same as I am currently trapped in 1996.
April 20, 2009
So I got to work this morning and checked my fantasy baseball scores. I was flabbergasted when I realized the red sox game started already. Then I remembered… it was Patriots’ Day. Perhaps, I was too preoccupied remembering it was my dad’s birthday (happy birthday dad) and had completely forgot that it was the greatest day on the Boston calendar.
How did I forget this? Because I live in Los Angeles and no one here gives a shit.
One could say Boston is more influenced because the holiday is meant commemorate the nearby battle of Lexington and Conchord (towns full of assholes, it’s a middlesex league thing… okay that was faux townism) and so there is historical significance yada yada yada.
The real reason it is awesome is because Boston basically shuts down. Most Schools are off. Some workplaces get off. And there is the 10 AM Red Sox game in which something memorable always seems to happen. Better yet there’s the Boston Marathon which is always a wonderful thing to behold (often referred to as MARATHON MONDAY!). Since it runs through the heart of back bay Boston, it effectively shuts down the city. People skip work (or take a break and watch). More importantly, people get drunk. Not just regular drunk. There’s about 9 college on the marathon route, so those kids get “I’m deciding to wake up and go black out by the afternoon” drunk. There’s nothing like watching people celebrate athletic fortitude and talent by skipping out on responsibility and drinking booze.
Patriotic? You betcha.
(note: while it’s not exactly my thing, the fact that for 2009, this all coincides with 4/20 is just absurd. It’s like the perfect storm of debauchery)
April 16, 2009
I had this at work today. It was freaking delicious. For some reason it’s also pretty much the only good soup they make.
Tangent: Why is it that vegetable bisques often are more wholly wonderful that seafood bisques? Because seafood bisques are often so rich that you become sick of the taste about halfway through. Don’t get me wrong, the flavor of a crab or lobster bisque is absolutely delightful… just in mini doses (Thomas Keller knows this… Thomas Keller ENFORCES this). But a vegetable bisque can finish quite nicely. You feel like you’ve eaten a whole meal and not even too full. Often vegetable bisques are healthier too because you need less binding agents to smooth out the soup (seafood ones need a great deal to mute the sharpness of a well-made seafood stock).
April 14, 2009
I don’t know about you but I find it awesome that Obama actually has to come out with a position on “Pirates.” Not a movie, not the historical fictionalization, but actual pirates ravaging the seas.
1) I’m not a big, “pirates! Awesome!” kind of guy, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the subtleties of their charm. Most of which involves cantankerousness and scurvy.
2) The reality of pirates is, yeah, pretty crappy. The life of a pirate sucks really bad and they actually kill genuine working, innocent people and all so that pretty much sucks.
But ignoring qualifier #2, it’s awesome Obama had to come up with his “position” on the Pirate problem. Most of this problem has gone largely ignored by America as problems in Africa and Asia increased tenfold; it wasn’t until an American got mixed up in it that we sent the pirate hunting NAVY seal team.
If we ignore the obvious sadness involved and romanticize the shit out of this, than this situation is awesome. Pirates vs. Obama. It’s a reality. A pireality.
UPDATE: Just saw this article via Mefi.
Just incredible and pretty.
The dolphins are coming to our aid!
(one great joke I read in comments: “I’ll be the first to say it, THANKS AQUAMAN!”)
April 9, 2009
OH MY GOD! CC SABATHIA SUCKS! NEW YORK HAS WASTED 190 MILLION! TEXIERA CAN’T HANDLE THE PRESSURE! THE RED SOX ARE BETTER THAN THE RAYS THEY BEAT THEM 5-3! ELLSBURY CAN’T HIT ANYMORE!
Saying opening day results are prone to hyperbole is like saying I am using a simile right now.
Really,we shouldn’t we be better than this? But hyperbole sells papers and I even seen legit people at least addressing the issue of “well, you want to get off to a good start.” For the fans, yeah sure, whatever. But statistically speaking CC Sabathia has had many awful starts to his seasons. Last year especially and then he got it going on. Texiera is also another notoriously slow starter and yet no one seems to pay attention to these trends.
The fact of the matter is whatever seeming deduction that has come out of the last two days will be supplanted by another one once the week is out. And then another one by the end of the month. Trends will layer themselves and start to define a larger context. That’s baseball. It’s a law of averages, not the recent singular moment. Every guy goes 0-5. Every guy puts together a decent streak. The singular stuff only seems to matter in the post-season. There’s about 160 games left so let’s wait and see how everyone shapes up.
Just started watching the Red Sox game now. Lester strikes out ANOTHER! CY YOUNG HERE HE COMES!