Don’t Like: “Sleep Systems”

September 30, 2009

Are you kidding Tempur-Pedic? It’s not a sleep system. It’s a freaking bed.

You’ve made a new and better bed? Sweet. If it’s good enough, I may even purchase one. But who are you kidding? A sleep system? In order to qualify as a sleep system, your contraption would have to have like tubes and wires going into the person’s body to help maintain hibernation or something.

Come on. It’s a bed.


Like: This Patton Oswalt Quote

September 10, 2009

“Man. Having babies. God. You smell bad when you don’t sleep. You know? You get that weird BO? You smell like cake mix and violence.”

I don’t have babies or anything, but I still find that hilarious.

This was on a recent Sports Guy podcast.


Like: Kit Kat(s)

September 9, 2009

Why?

Because they’re fucking delicious.

And I don’t feel like I ate a brick after I had one.


Don’t Like: The National League

September 4, 2009

AKA “What John Smotlz and Brad Penny have been able to do there.”

Don’t get me wrong. I love the idea of the league: having pitchers hit keeps a certain nice symmetry with things. 9 players. 9 Hitters. The games are shorter. That’s good. It’s all very romantic. And if romance is the goal then the AL is certainly “ruining” it with DH rule.

Now. Here’s the problem. American League Teams are simply superior.

This is not to say top flight NL teams can’t win it all.  They both can and have, though not as frequently as AL teams the last fifteen years. It’s just that if you do a complete survey up and down of National League Lineups,you realize that only three of them compare (phillies, dodgers, cards) with top flight AL teams (ny, boston, tampa, white sox, detroit, angels, texas). That’s a difference of 3  to 7. There are also three AL teams with 2nd tier lineups (orioles, minnesota, seattle). I only see one in the NL in the Cubbies (the mets would be but are excempt because of injuries). That leaves the bottom teir  of only four teams in the AL: toronto, cleveland, kansas city, and oakland VS. the following bottom teir lineups of the NL:  braves, marlins, brewers, astros, reds, rockies, giants, dbacks, and padres. And that means the pirates and Nationals have AAA lineups.

There are 11 bottom teir lineups in the NL and only 3 good ones. Any self-respecting analyst would tell you the same thing. You may love your NL team. You may love the NL league. But I’m sorry. That’s the reality. The Orioles would be a good to mid range lineup in the NL.  Unfortunately they play in the AL east and are therefore last.

Now the above rankings do not figure in total team quality w/ account of pitching. The giants, cards, and braves all have decent staffs with some excellent pitchers. But in terms of overall quality hitting, which you need to use for foundation and base indicator for team (because even the best pitchers are inconsistent), then it’s not even a comparison.

… This does not even include the fact that pitchers have to hit in the NL.

You may wonder why I’m so passionate about this.

Easy: Smoltz. Penny. Julio Lugo. Cliff Lee. Matt Holiday.

The first three guys were practically RUN OUT of Boston. They had long enough periods of time to prove that they could indeed play in the AL, but completely crapped out. Suddenly Penny goes to giants and his first time with a new catcher he threw 8 SHUTOUT INNINGS????!!? Against the “best NL lineup” Phillies? Are you serious? This could just be a simple fluke, but I doubt it. I watched him all year. He was throwing the same stuff last night and the Phillies were whiffing consistantly.  Maybe he was just NL familiar, but even that’s a stretch. This was Night and Day. He couldn’t get out of the 5th inning ALL YEAR. It’s absurd. Look at Holliday too. He couldn’t hit anyone in the AL (even the west). But now on the cards he’s destorying. Cliff Lee is suddenly amazing again now that he’s on the Phillies.

If there isn’t a huge difference why are big time pitchers all but demanding (and in some cases actually demanding) to go to the National League in trades? Seriously. Peavy. Halliday. Lee. They all demanded NL (though only one got it). Seriously, why are they only signing in the AL if they get huge money? CC despretly wanted to stay in the NL after he dominated there, but there was no way he could turn down that contract.

It’s not a secret. The NL is not as good. If you’re a hitter. You can do better. If you’re a pitcher you can do MUCH better. And will for the rest of time because every 9 guys is an easy out. Yes the NL is baseball in the “more pure” form… but honestly, AL teams are a lot of fun to watch. These are truly great teams getting to play and it’s especially fun when they play each other and every at bat is dangerous.

Now, this may all be an over reaction and I’m exaggerating the differnces… but it’s just just one of those dumbfounding things. The AL is truly better. People say the league is cyclical and the NL will be better soon, but that won’t happen unless some clubs get some more money and every good pitcher goes to sign there (an actual possibility). But guys will keep getting lured by those big money contracts on top AL teams. Thems the breaks I guess.

Okay hold on. Phone call.

[time passes]

… I just got signed by the Pirates.


Don’t Like: The Sobering Reminder of Fragility from the Smell of Fire Outside and Ash All Over My Car

September 2, 2009

This video is actually pretty badass. But you could see how it would be scary as hell if you lived right by there. Where we are is supposedly a safe distance away, but this is going on in LA county, on the northern ridge of the valley. The weather conditions are supposed to become more humid, which should help.

It smells like burned hair and wood chips outside.

My car looks like it has specks of gray snow on it.

At least I’m not shovelling my driveway?


Don’t Like: My interaction in the coffee line / Like: My interaction in the elevator

September 1, 2009

So someone wonderfully pointed out that my site is turning into a movie review site. Sorry. I’ve just been seeing lots of movies and they’re on the brain.

So here comes the daily observances of foibles.

This morning I was in line to order a coffee. I do this about once a week, if that. This is what happened:

Me: “Hi can I get a small latte.”

Barista Lady: “What kind of milk?”

Me: “whole.”

BL: [not hearing me] “we have soy, skim, 1%, 2%-”

Me: “whole is fine.”

BL:  “Regular?”

Me: “yeah.”

BL: “you sure?”

Me: “yes.”

BL: [realizing she came off as judgemental] “Sorry. it’s just no one’s ordered regular for weeks. I gotta open a new one.”

… ah life in California.

LATER, IN THE ELEVATOR:

Two girls walk in. They know and talk to each other. One is holding  plastic bowl with a covered top. They put oatmeal in these at the breakfast place downstairs. I just stand to the side.

Girl 1: “Oooh. you got breakfast.”

Girl 2: “yeah”

G1: “What kind of oatmeal?”

G2: “Not oatmeal.”

G1: “Huh?”

G2: “Oh. No. I just crammed this sucker with bacon.”

I laugh out loud… They both look at me.

Me: “That’s awesome.”

[EXEUNT]