Like: Obama Vs. Pirates (Updated: Obama AND Dolphins Vs. Pirates!)

April 14, 2009

I don’t know about you but I find it awesome that Obama actually has to come out with a position on “Pirates.” Not a movie, not the historical fictionalization, but actual pirates ravaging the seas.

1) I’m not a big, “pirates! Awesome!” kind of guy, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the subtleties of their charm. Most of which involves cantankerousness and scurvy.

2) The reality of pirates is, yeah, pretty crappy. The life of a pirate sucks really bad and they actually kill genuine working, innocent people and all so that pretty much sucks.

But ignoring qualifier #2, it’s awesome Obama had to come up with his “position” on the Pirate problem. Most of this problem has gone largely ignored by America as problems in Africa and Asia increased tenfold; it wasn’t until an American got mixed up in it that we sent the pirate hunting NAVY seal team.

If we ignore the obvious sadness involved and romanticize the shit out of this, than this situation is awesome. Pirates vs. Obama. It’s a reality. A pireality.

UPDATE: Just saw this article via Mefi.

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-04/14/content_11184581.htm

Just incredible and pretty.

The dolphins are coming to our aid!

(one great joke I read in comments: “I’ll be the first to say it, THANKS AQUAMAN!”)

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Like: Total Badasses

September 17, 2008

The Following people were total badasses:

Teddy Roosevelt (president, soldier, bad-ass, probable racist)

Muthafuckin’ Omar (stick-up man)

Mean Joe Greene (his name is mean for f-ing sake)

Bob Gibson (he would drill his own players in batting practice)

Ogie Oglethorpe

John Matrix

Han Solo

Truckasuarus

Ghengis Khan

The Asian Cobra

Marburg

Throwing Stars (no link necessary)

Muldoon

And please, more suggestions for bad asses!


Like: Scottish and Airedale Terriers

May 29, 2008

I’m not really all that experienced with pets. I’ve only technically had 3 cats one year in college, but that was part of a big house. I don’t even really like dogs that much, but I’ve always had a natural disposition to Terriers. The first reason is simple, they look neat. Especially Scottish terriers and airedale terriers with their little beards. I don’t really find stuff “adorable”, but those are fucking adorable. Also, I’m Scottish so there’s the whole “kinsman/heritage” thing going on too. On top of that, I have to like terriers in general cause I’m from Boston and so Boston Terriers are also cool (and from what I hear kind of stoopid dogs). On top of THAT, I went to BU and our mascot was a Boston Terrier. Not that I ever cared about mascots or school spirit but you get my point.

What brings all of this up is that I had a dream the other night that I had a big, beautiful grey Airedale Terrier. His name was Morgan (not a name I like, but was my friend Elliot’s dog’s name growing up). And for some reason I had to bring him into work. People were like “you can’t bring your dog to work!” and I was like “Ha! Watch this” and went on to show how Morgan was the most well-behaved dog in the history of well behaved dogs. He was awesome and a total gentlemen who did whatever I said. Every single person loved him and thought he was the perfect dog…

So I woke up kind of wanting an Airedale Terrier.

This all theoretical of course, but dreams can have a weird power over us…

… this is probably as nebulous or spacey as you’ll ever see me.