Don’t Like: My interaction in the coffee line / Like: My interaction in the elevator

September 1, 2009

So someone wonderfully pointed out that my site is turning into a movie review site. Sorry. I’ve just been seeing lots of movies and they’re on the brain.

So here comes the daily observances of foibles.

This morning I was in line to order a coffee. I do this about once a week, if that. This is what happened:

Me: “Hi can I get a small latte.”

Barista Lady: “What kind of milk?”

Me: “whole.”

BL: [not hearing me] “we have soy, skim, 1%, 2%-”

Me: “whole is fine.”

BL:  “Regular?”

Me: “yeah.”

BL: “you sure?”

Me: “yes.”

BL: [realizing she came off as judgemental] “Sorry. it’s just no one’s ordered regular for weeks. I gotta open a new one.”

… ah life in California.

LATER, IN THE ELEVATOR:

Two girls walk in. They know and talk to each other. One is holding  plastic bowl with a covered top. They put oatmeal in these at the breakfast place downstairs. I just stand to the side.

Girl 1: “Oooh. you got breakfast.”

Girl 2: “yeah”

G1: “What kind of oatmeal?”

G2: “Not oatmeal.”

G1: “Huh?”

G2: “Oh. No. I just crammed this sucker with bacon.”

I laugh out loud… They both look at me.

Me: “That’s awesome.”

[EXEUNT]


Don’t Like: Me this morning, “Man I’ve been eating awful lately, I should totally eat healthy today. [Later]… Ooooh Donuts!”

March 18, 2009

How delcious! It’s not like I bought them or anything. Some one else did, I just ate them. St. Patty’s krispy kreme if you must know! Haha. I just watched someone who said, “GOD I CAN’T EAT A WHOLE DONUT, WHY DID PEOPLE BRING THIS IN?” go up eat five consecutive munchkins over the course of about 15 minutes. Now if you excuse me, I have to go drink some pints of guinness. … I’m kidding, it’s 10 am. OR AM I?


Don’t Like: “Freaxxx” By Brokencyde

January 22, 2009

Just wow.

This monstrosity has been floating around the blogosphere lately and perhaps for good reason. I wasn’t going to say anything at first. Most of the commentary has been along the lines of “sign of the apocolypse” and “fall of western civilization… but over the last 24 hours I’ve become a little bit obsessed.

See this isn’t just your usually stupidity. This is special.

Strangely, the questions begin with the haircuts. How does someone get that haircut who isn’t a Japanese teen five years ago? They aren’t even fallout-boy-at-least-definable-by-physics-bad. What possesses someone to be that incredibly outrageous with their hair? It’s amazing. Who likes that?

Then there is, you know, the actual music. I mean, what? Apparently they have combined screamo and crunk. And appear to have done so by yelling intermittently at periods of their crunk song. For no apparent reason. Also the stunning acne. I imagine this is preventative to stardom, but what the hell do I know. I just know it illicits a gutteral response of “yick”. Then there’s the name “brokencyde” a weird mashup of a bunch of other band names that somehow make more active or relative sense than this one. It’s a kinda desperate name at that. I imagine some bad late 70’s high school band naming themselves “Led Sabbath” and that seems akin to this. But this is all the surface-y stuff. It’s like not liking frida because she has a unibrow. Actually it’s not like that all. You might not be able to judge a book by its cover, but in this case it would have been really, really helpful.

Obviously, the music sucks. Not even enjoyable on some ironic level. It’s harsh and loopy and not in a pleasing way. The lyrics spare no subtext like mongol hordes spared no village. It’s audacious in some ways really. “Let’s fuck on the dance floor! Right now!” is the effective gist. Sure, it’s juvenile to a fault, but the members of this seem so inandated with their own awesomeness and not in a “our subculture actually values this” kind of way that allows me to put a lot of rap video’s excesses off the hook. There’s nothing “awesome” really happening. The range rover, the benz, the pathetic red plastic cups, the tiny party of 7 girls obviously conned into this somehow. It’s all  longing to be something it terribly isn’t.

But the truly amazing part comes at around 1:50 where there is a sudden, dramatic 180 switch and the boys proceed to yell “LIAR!” at the girls and pantomime choking a Jamie-Lynn Spears lookalike. The juvenile behavior at this point reaches absurdity. Little are they aware, but the action profiles the insane, deeply rooted problem of young boys trying to “get chicks”. They espouse their sexual prowess (in reality, obviously lacking) and regard women as nothing more than vacant fuck puppets (that’s the nicest way I could put it), but their fragility is SOOOOOOOO transparent that they scream LIAR! WHORE! at a moments notice. You hurt their feelings you see!

It’s all so wonderfully poetic. They completely emasculate their own amazing bullshit.

And look. I’m not someone who gets up on a soap box and bitches about every little indignation (well. actually that’s exactly do in this blog. but not in real life… or… um LOOK OVER THERE! [runs away]). Most of the time you watch a bad late 90s rap video and kinda laugh it off. There’s kind of an aloof charm, or slickness to that stuff and a lot of other music videos in general that make it all at least OK.

“Freaxxx” is fallout and effect of all that I guess; a couple of lame ass tards’s interpretation of the baser ends of pop-culture, complete with the more transparent evidence of about 14 different aspects of arrested maturation and development.  They are WELL within date-rapist territory. In short, these fuckers have problems… and I’m guessing they’re not alone.

My friend Ken had some nice input too after I sent it to him: “Way to loop and lip-synch to your own emo scream while filming against a backdrop of a McMansion development.  I like how the lead “vocalist” is the only one who appears to be having a good time.  The actively-disinterested blonde dancer is perhaps my favorite element of the video.  The strained novelty of the dancing pig-suit gentleman is another excellent touch. It is really and truly a tragedy that the Midwest has been dragged kicking and screaming into popular culture by the internet.”


Like: Fasting

October 9, 2008

So I’m fasting today in comraderie with Yom Kippur.

Sure I’m not techincally Jewish, but like I said, it’s in the spirit of comraderie.

I’ve actually done the Yom Kippur fast in some fashion of many years now. Many of my collegiate buddies where Jewish. Many of my old family friends were as well. So it’s something of a tradition.

So what’s the deal? Why do it? What possible reason could one have for not eating for denying their body nutrition? Especially for religious reasons?

Well, it’s kind of the old adage of overcoming obstacles. Of showing willpower and fortitude. Of course it’s all kind of silly but in some ways that’s the point. Hunger is such a natural feeling and to focus through it is something of an act of self-discipline. It shouldn’t be used as a feat “look what I can do” thing. Ideally, it should be a little deeper than that.

Back in college my friends and I did one of those dumb juice fast cleanse things. Technically it’s supposed to help cleanse your colon or something like that,  I don’t think any of us really believed in it with total seriousness. I think it was more curiousness than anything else. So we drank natural juice for 3 days and no food. We all made it except for one of us who nearly had a breakdown after 24 hours without a cigarette or coffee. ..It was probably good he quit the fast. But the idea is we all did it in camaraderie and maintained self-discipline.

… You know… Writing this I see this the same kind of BS that leads to group mentalities, frattyness, and communism… huh… I like to think that this is a case of those disciplines going for good and not, you know, evil.

So fasting is important.

… I think.

Plus I’m gonna look super skinny this week!


Don’t Like: Bud Light’s “Drinkability”

October 8, 2008

Bud Light’s new ad campaign saying that what they have is “drinkability” is absolutely hilarious.

Why? Because they’re basically touting how much their beer stinks.

You know why Bud Light goes down easy?

Because it’s fucking water… with a splash of budweiser.

See, when I want to drink a beer, I like when it tastes like beer. Bold. Hoppy. Yet smooth and delicious. I like dark beers, amber beers, and golden beers. I like wheat beers. Domestic or imported beers. I like all beers with substantive flavor. Even miller lite has an okay tang to it. Heck, even though PBR tastes kind of like a metal tin, it still tastes like beer.

Bud Light tastes like water… the most “drinkable” substance on earth. I like water. I like it a lot. But that’s the last thing I’m looking for in my beer.

So how bout if you want something “drinkable” you just drink that and leave the beer drinking to people with testicles.

… you know, proverbially testicles.

……. leave me alone.


Like: That I Got Free Coffee Today!

September 19, 2008

All because I knew the answer to a trivia question: what planet is closest to the sun?
The answer is Mercury!

I asked the guy if he had given away a lot of cups of coffee this morning and he shook his head sadly. “everyone keeps saying earth, I even had to put up an A, B, C”

I looked to my right, there was even “A. Venus. B. Earth. C. Mercury”

I looked back at him, “yeah…” is all he said.

But oh well, sorry humanity, i gots free coffee!


Like: Sweet/Bitter Taste combination

July 25, 2008

MMMMMMM. Delicious.

Nothing is better then switching back sweet and bitter tastes. For example the wonderful coffee/donut or coffee/chocolate combo.

That’s how you rock it Amadeus.